Submission Saturday: The Under-the-Weather Edition

Fairy Tale Manuscript

The fairy tale that wasn’t. At least it looks like a bird!

Well, well, I’ve been busy editing, trying to write a (interesting) fairy tale (here is a helpful, little primer on fairy tales, folklore, etc.), and just living, including a good deal of Nightingale-ing. Now that the kids aren’t sick and the husband is healing, of course it strikes me. Today, I’m digging out of the aftermath.

In any case, doing these market/submission articles really gets me jazzed, and I haven’t done one in at least a couple weeks. So, in other words, you’re due. Hope you find something fruitful here!

  1. Due April 1. You’ve got dreams. I’ve got dreams. We’ve all got dreams. Why not put them down on paper and submit them to Bop Dead City? For their current issue (Issue #15) contest, they choose one poem and one fiction piece (otherwise, one genre takes it all). The Issue 15 contest is themed “dreams”; regular submissions guidelines here.
  2. Due April 1: No joke! The annual Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry competition is open to writers of poetry in English, with a maximum of 250 lines (1 poem only) sought. But with this contest, the object is to write badly. Very, very badly. The art is in writing so badly, it crosses over into good-writing terrain. Can you do it? Like to try? Check out Winning Writers for all the specifics on this free-to-enter contest that promises big prizes for the best “worst poem” you can craft.
  3. Due officially April 15 (but actually June 30): Staying in the humor-writing vein, let’s move over to the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (BLFC) for superior shoddy sentence–writing, not to be confused with the Lyttle Lytton annual contest. Here, your mission, if you choose to accept the challenge, is to pen the very worst opening line to a novel ever conceived—and there are genre categories, too, including romance, science fiction, crime/detective, and historical fiction. Bad for poor Edward Bulwer-Lytton; but good for us. More details here.
  4. April 15, Austin, Texas, 5:30-9:30 p.m. If you’re fond of small presses, visionary writing, poetry, or some combination of the aforementioned (and will be in Austin, Tx., in April), get yourself over to Malvern Books for the Tupelo 30/30 project Poetry Night. It will feature WP staple poet Robert Okaji, as well as several other T30/30 poets: Christine Beck, Katy Chrisler, D.G. Geis, Pamela Paek, and Ronnie K. Stephens.
  5. Opening May 15, 2016 (closing August 15): Enchanted Conversation, a fairy tale magazine, has its eyes peeled for your best stories about Krampus, the dark alternative to Santa Claus, for its Krampusnacht Two anthology, to be published in conjunction with World Weaver Press. Kate Wolford is the editor. They are looking for fiction submissions from 1,000 to 9,999 words. You will greatly benefit from reading their first anthology on this topic, Krampusnacht: Twelve Nights of Krampus, and following the newest anthology guidelines to the letter. Good luck!
  6. A sixth-grader wrote this flash-fiction story and it was published online by SmokeLong Quarterly. Wow! SLQ, a leader in the flash fiction genre, publishes only flash (no poetry or nonfiction) of under 1000 words—one submission at a time, please!—and you must include a print-ready third-person biography. Give them a whirl if you enjoy flash(ing) your fiction!

And, in the meantime . . . enjoy your Easter/spring (or autumn) weekend! Happy writing and art-making!


17 thoughts on “Submission Saturday: The Under-the-Weather Edition

    • Thank you as always, Andrea. Did you submit for the ‘adventure’ issue by PopShot? They sent me an e-mail the other day with a short story in, and I wondered if you had. And I hope you can take advantage of these, if any work for you. Hope your Spring is proceeding along beautifully!

      • I didn’t submit to Popshot this time, am waiting for the right moment to go there again, got a few submissions in to competitions but I won’t hear anything for quite a while. Wishing you a very creative spring 🙂

    • Yeah, I enjoy the Wergle Flomp, too (writing for and reading what they choose). I’d never heard of the EJ Thribb; that’s fascinating. Best of luck with the continuing A-to-Z challenge—you’re a brave man, Curtis!

      • Thanks, Leigh. Thought I’d give the A to Z a whirl – we’ll see what comes of it. EJ Thribb specialised in obituaries, always beginning, ‘So farewell then (such and such)’ Always good for a chuckle.

      • Ah, I see. There’s an article I read in the last year about some ‘famous’ NYT, I think, obit writers. They became their own style/subgenre, they were so good and iconic. I’ll have to check out this Thribb sometime soon. Continued GL on the challenge!

  1. hey. thanks for the likes over at The Rotting Post ( I actually submitted a piece to Wergle Flomp, although perhaps it is not sufficiently poor. Feel free to add in the humor competition i’m sponsoring to your list.


    • No problem. I used to write for a satire-type site that I think has since defuncted, but I enjoy what you’re doing at RP. Wergle Flomp, in my experience, very hard to impress them (they don’t go for parodies of well-known poems that hew close to the original in cadence/musicality; that’s my one nugget)! But, then again, they get thousands of entries. Good luck with your writing (not that you need it, clearly, having been published as much as you have).

      • you know, the nice thing about having my own blog is i don’t really need to please some gate-keeper. so, i am not invested at all in wergle flomp or anything else like it. i should have done this years ago!

      • Yes blogging definitely has its advantages. BTW, I saw a blurb about your humor-writing contest in the Erma Bombeck enewsletter. Looks like you’ll be getting loads of entries!

  2. i have some, not a ton. I’m purposely just filing them all together in a folder, so i can read them together once they are all in. i don’t want to be biased for or against anything based on mood when i read it. humor is not only individual, it is also fickle. one seems funny one day is suddenly not funny the next, or vice-versa.

    • If I may, then, and of course feel free to not answer or, alternatively, to post this answer elsewhere, as I don’t want to feel I’m getting insider-trading information here: are you looking for evergreen content for the essays? When I read your site, it’s very timely and up-to-the-day (or at least very recent) with the satire—not that it’s not evergreen, but it does seem fresher than most of that. What do you think you’re leaning toward, for the contest: evergreen humor essay or fresh, timely current-events satire? As you say, humor (among other things) is very subjective.

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